


Wishing On A Star

by beeswaxing



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeswaxing/pseuds/beeswaxing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little boy makes a wish, not realizing that all magic has a price…even the magic of Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishing On A Star

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 10th Anniversary to the Gods... This is my Christmas/Anniversary present ;;

~~~  
I’m wishin’ on a star  
To follow where you are  
I’m wishin’ on a dream  
To follow what it means…  
~~~

The little boy pouts as his parents pay more attention to his younger sister than to him. He likes the noisy little thing about as much as any other big brother, but really, enough is enough. It’s Christmas and surely he deserves some attention. It’s not like she’s a brand new present. She’s been around practically a year but looking at the way his parents act, you’d think Santa only just dropped her in a sack that morning for everyone to marvel at.

Yes, she’s very pretty and cute and the way she follows him around and bugs him makes him secretly smile, though he’d never admit it to anyone, not even his parents.

But enough is enough.

He wants some attention too.

He stares sadly as his parents coo at the gurgling toddler, before he quietly leaves the table, slipping out the door and into the living area.

There is a great big tree in the living room. 

A first for him, and he remembers the awe he’d felt at how small he is in relation to the giant tree. Why, the tip practically touches the ceiling! 

The young boy steps forward, inhaling the fragrant pine needles which tickle his nose and make him sneeze. 

The sound seems loud in the empty room, but sadly, not even his sneezing brings either of his parents to him.

The little boy steps back, tilting his head till he can see the very pinnacle of the tree where a bright star is perched.

When his father had first unveiled it, he’d been upset.

Stars are meant to be white, or maybe even yellow.

Stars are not meant to be red.

But his father said that it’s a special star, the only one of its kind, and the adorable little boy believes him for his father is the world to him. When he grows up, he wants to be just like his father.

His smooth brow furrows.

With one tiny amendment. 

If he has two children, he won’t forget the first one.

He stares at the red star.

It twinkles at him.

The little boy blinks, shaking his head, wondering if he’s imagining it.

He steps back a little further to get a better view and to ease the ache in his neck.

The star twinkles at him once again.

“Oh,” the young boy gasps. And the star twinkles in reply.

The tall, almost four year old takes another step back, feeling unafraid for it is just as his father had said. 

The star is special.

_”Make a wish…”_

A whisper in the windless room caresses the child, a breathy young voice of another child, but that voice is so pure like the sound of tinkling bells and the chime of crystal drops. 

“What?” the little boy looks around wildly, trying to find the source of the voice. The voice seems to very loud, yet so very soft. His eyes dart to the door to the living room, and yet again he is disappointed as it remains shut.

No parents to come to his rescue from the voice.

_”Make a wish…”_

He scrunches his eyes shut, hands clasped tight. He can feel tingles and ripples as if the air itself is moving around him, and he is starting to feel a brief sense of alarm.

But just as the alarm increases, a strange warmth wraps itself around him. A warmth that is familiar to him, for he recognizes its touch.

Love.

He calms down.

_”Make a wish…”_

“I wish…” he stops. What does he want? “I wish…” the almost four year old chews on his pouty bottom lip. A bad habit that his mother is trying to break him out of. “I wish…”

_”Make a wish for yourself…”_

His eyes spring open in surprise, mouth dropping open. “How did you know?” he demands, his voice loud in the silent room. He’d been about to wish a wish for his parents and his sister even though they’re all aggravating him at the moment. But he is the kind of little boy who can never wish ill on someone, and in his little three year old wisdom, he decides to make a happy wish for them.

_”Make a wish for yourself…”_

His eyes are drawn to the twinkling red star sitting atop the tall Christmas tree. The twinkling is so bright, he wonders how its light hasn’t penetrated the walls to alert his parents as to what is happening. The warmth around him intensifies. He feels safe, protected, and so very loved. A feeling he is missing from his parents’ that day as his sister takes her first steps, her achievement eclipsing the significance of the day itself for him. He doesn’t like being left alone, and a little surge of selfishness that has been hiding within him rears its head.

He clasps his hands, eyes steady on the brilliant red star twinkling merrily, his voice soft as he makes his wish.

“I wish to have someone that is just for me, always and forever mine.”

—

He is woken by someone playing with his toes.

The little boy scrunches his face, grumbling about it as he tries to hide his feet under the covers, only to find his body bare of covers. 

He opens his eyes, surprised, yet unsurprised at what he finds.

“Hello.”

He sits up quickly, scooting backwards till his head bangs against the headboard of his bed.

In a flash, the one who’d greeted him is by his side, rubbing his head, his little lips framing a perfect ‘O’ of dismay.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to surprise you. I thought you were expecting me.”

He shakes his head, and the strange person stops rubbing.

“You weren’t expecting me?” 

He nods.

The newcomer pouts, taking his hands back, he clasps them in front of him and tilts his head, staring at the wide-eyed boy in the bed. “I’m confused. Didn’t you ask for me?”

Little Jung Yunho is just as confused, resisting the urge to scratch his head and touch where the angelic child has touched him, oddly missing the contact, and wondering how he might be able to get more. He doesn’t think banging his head again will be a good idea though. The boy…or girl, he’s not sure yet, looks like one of the cherub sculptures he’s seen in church.

There is not other description for the chubby child who looks about his age. 

“What’s your name?”

The angel pouts even more. “I know your name, why don’t you know mine?” His eyes dim for a brief moment, before they suddenly brighten. “Oh! I forgot!”

To Yunho’s shock, the child leans forward, pressing his pouty mouth against his lips in a brief kiss that tastes of peppermint candy. 

Yunho’s mouth parts, and a name escapes in a breathy whisper just as the other child pulls back.

“Jaejoong.”

—

He’s not an angel.

Yunho is struggling to hold onto the memories of the little boy from the previous night who’d shown him wonders even beyond his own imagination. The glowing, giggling companion he now knows is a boy had pulled the covers over their heads, and when he’d pulled them back, Yunho had found himself in a room not his own, and yet it is.

_”This is my room!”_

_Yunho looks around, taking in the familiar yet unfamiliar surroundings._

_The differences are subtle, more in the quality of the furniture and the decor in general, but everything else right down to the placement of his empty cup of warm milk on the bedside table is identical._

_“It looks like mine.”_

_“Of course it does, silly,” Jaejoong pokes his cheek cheerfully as he bounces out of bed. “I am yours and what is yours is also mine.” He hurries to the bedroom door before turning and cocking his head at the still boy in the bed. “Are you coming? We’ve got lots to do and I want more peppermint candy.”_

_“What if my parents see you?”_

_Jaejoong beams. “You have me. You don’t need anyone else.”_

_And apparently, that is that. Yunho is too young to question it, and for the moment, it makes sense to him. His sense of curiosity and adventure far outweighs the strange events and in the back of his mind is the thought that perhaps this is just a dream, and if it is, he will enjoy it. The idea that he might never see his parents again never occurs to him for he is wrapped up in such a cocoon of love that he cannot imagine this boy doing anything of the sort to him._

_Exiting the door tells him instantly that he is no longer in his home._

_He’s not even sure if he’s in Korea._

_People of all shapes and sizes and colors are bustling around. For a little boy who is used to only seeing Koreans, seeing a pretty girl with flowing blonde hair pat his Jaejoong on the head before kissing his cheek makes his mouth drop._

_“Why don’t you introduce me to your new friend?” the beautiful girl with the sparkling blue eyes and long blonde hair coaxes the vibrating Jaejoong who is rocking on the balls of his feet, mouth tugged into a smile so bright he is practically incandescent._

_“This is Yunnie! I’m his.”_

_“Ah,” the girl’s smile widens as she gestures for Yunho to step forward._

_The little boy suddenly remembers his manners despite the sudden attack of shyness as he bends over as far as he can go, almost toppling headlong to the floor, but a steady hand against his shoulder stays him. The giggle in his ear is like music as Jaejoong cautions him to be careful, still accompanied by a brilliant smile._

_“So you found your elf?”_

_“My elf?” Yunho’s wrinkles his nose. “What elf?”_

_“I’m an elf, silly!”_

_And before Yunho can react, he gets another peppermint filled kiss to the mouth. He licks at his lips, tasting the sweet candy, and he wonders briefly if Jaejoong will always taste like Christmas. To a three-almost-four year old boy, Christmas means candy canes._

_He pulls back to cast a serious eye over the beaming little boy next to him. He leans forward to check his ears._

_“Aha!”_

_“What?” the blonde girl and Jaejoong chorus together, their voices sounding like the chiming of bells._

_Familiar bells._

_“You don’t have pointy ears.”_

_Jaejoong pouts. “I’m growing into them, ok? I’m still small.”_

_“You’re kinda round,” Yunho points out, poking the slightly smaller boy in the belly. The honesty of a young child is something even other young children need to contend with._

_Jaejoong’s mouth drops open, as the blonde girl chuckles._

_“That’s the result of too much candy, little Yunnie. He’s perfect for you, baby Jae.” She straightens, ruffling the indignant round boy’s hair, chuckling as she does so. “You’re just as blunt. Who was it that told me I looked better as a blonde than a brunette?”_

_“Me,” comes the pouty response._

_Yunho notices his new friend’s eyes are twinkling merrily though despite the pout, and he heaves an inward sigh of relief. Wanting to take attention from his slip, he turns to the beautiful tall blonde girl._

_“What do you mean he’s my elf?”_

_She holds out her hand, and he grabs it, noticing that Jaejoong grabs her other hand as they walk down a giant hallway full of people running back and forth. Everyone pauses, to shout a greeting at them, but no one ever waits for a response. Yunho learns that the girl’s name is Joy._

_“Every year, some special children get an elf. Some years, no children get any elves for they are all much too naughty or they are in no need of an elf. Jaejoong here has been waiting for you for years.”_

_“Four years?”_

_Tinkling bells cascade over the little boy as the blond laughs. “Much, much, much, longer than four years my little Yunnie.”_

_Yunho skips a little ahead to try and look around the girl’s long legs at his new companion who grins at him and does a little finger waggle in place of a wave, which brings a smile to Yunho’s face as he falls back in line with the other two. He feels indescribably happy, like his chest is about to burst from joy. The blonde girl is aptly named._

_“But he looks my age!”_

_“He’s a little older than you, love.”_

He’s not an angel.

And the little boy knows he isn’t dreaming, for he can still taste the sweet, sticky peppermint on his lips as his Jaejoongie kisses him goodbye at the end of the night.

~~~  
I never thought I’d see  
A time when you would be  
So far away from home  
So far away from me…  
~~~

“I think he’s forgotten me.”

Joy stares at Jaejoong kicking dispiritedly out at his bed. His room is transformed, growing along with the boy he is bound to. Pictures of girls adorn the walls, and yet, she knows neither boy cares about them. It is just something expected of Yunho, and whatever interests Yunho, interests Jaejoong too.

“It’s only been one month, love.”

“One month, two months, three months, forever.” Jaejoong’s reply is filled with gloom, completely at odds with his normally effervescent personality. All the older elves know what’s in store for the thirteen year old, but for the first time in their history, they no longer have any idea what to expect, for everything related to Yunho and Jaejoong is already different to anything they have ever experienced since humans walked the earth.

Yunho has been a fixture in their world since the two boys met all those years ago. 

Joy always has to intervene, to make it seem like Yunho is dreaming at the end of every night, but the older they get, the harder it becomes. They are not meant to breach the thin veil between the two worlds, but Yunho has come across so often that her powers don’t seem to be of any use, and she’s tried everything magically possible.

And then it happens.

Yunho hits puberty.

Someone should have warned Jaejoong.

Heck, she should have warned Jaejoong.

And really, Jaejoong should have known.

She knows that he probably chose to forget though, or perhaps his faith in their connection is stronger even than a predetermined occurrence.

And like all the other elves, none of them could bear to remind the beguiling young elf that his days with his ward are numbered for once a child hits adulthood, they will forget their elf.

Only children are allowed to believe in elves you see.

In their world, puberty is the line between childhood and adulthood. 

There is another reason why only children are _allowed_ to believe in elves.

Once an adult crosses the divide, they will always remember it, and nothing anyone can do will ever erase the memory, unless that said adult chooses to forget.

Imagine adults believing in elves?

“We lied to him.”

Joy is broken from her brief reverie, to face an anguished Jaejoong. His eyes are so full of sorrow, even she feels his pain.

“What do you mean?”

“You made him wish. You made me make him wish. And he wished for me, but we lied. You lied.”

“It’s not a lie, Jaejoong. You are still his, always and forever.”

“But he doesn’t know that!” The teenage elf wails, pain and anger lacing his voice as he stalks around his room, resisting the urge to kick out at things. The connection between elf and human is so strong that if Jaejoong messes up his room, chances are, Yunho will end up messing up his room too. Unlike Yunho though, Jaejoong answers to nobody.

Well, not quite. He has rules, but no one to bug him like a parent for his messy room.

“I am not an angel.”

“You will be,” Joy adds. “You know this. Have patience, Jaejoong. You’ve spent too much time with him to become this impatient.”

“I don’t want to be one if it means he can never see me again.”

“Jaejoong!”

“Let him speak,” a voice calls out from the doorway.

Joy immediately prostrates, as does Jaejoong, but the latter does it begrudgingly and everyone in the room can feel it.

The man waiting in the doorway never interferes with his elves. He barely interferes with the angels.

However, there’s been so much talk about the only paired human and elf in the last decade that even he knows about them. 

Unlike everyone else though, he knows a little more.

But he always works within the realm of choice, which is why he is here.

“Stand up, elf. Tell me what you want.”

Jaejoong gains his feet slowly, trying to quash the hope in his heart. He misses Yunho more than he can articulate. He’s been around many humans and their elves, but as the term “elf” implies, most of the interactions occur around Christmas where their need is greatest. Contrary to popular belief, the holiday season is not always a time of joy, and children whose attention towards the luster of new toys are diminished for one reason or other are especially in need. 

Yunho’s need for Jaejoong though, unlike all the other children and their own elves, outlasted the holiday season. Try as Joy does, and Jaejoong knows she’s tried hard, Yunho always wakes up with a ghost of a memory of his elf. A memory strong enough that it is sustained throughout the day, so much so that Yunho falls asleep every night with the name of his elf on his lips.

An elf is not allowed to ignore the call from their human.

This is Jaejoong’s doing.

The peppermint kisses are a powerful memory trigger, something he’d discovered by accident on the eve of the New Year of their first week together. He has since continued to use this information for his need for Yunho is just as great as the human’s need for him.

There has never in the history that he’s known, where an elf is this tied to their human. Many of the other elves, Joy included when she was an elf, go through dozens upon dozens of children. Sometimes, one elf may have several children attached to them in any given moment in time. Jaejoong has never paid any attention to it for innately, he knew he was created for only one reason.

To be Yunho’s everything.

For this reason, he’s always been seen as a quirky elf. 

Different.

He’d insisted on staying as a young child for a score of years, till Yunho was finally born, much to the confusion of the other elves.

But no one questions it, for Joy insists they leave him be.

Joy is no elf.

She is the angel who oversees the elves, to help them in their transition towards the upper realms, and to guide them when they need her.

Unfortunately, her powers don’t seem to work on Yunho and Jaejoong. 

“Yunho.”

“You need Yunho?”

“Yes,” Jaejoong nods, eyes downcast as he stares at the marble floor. 

“Do you know what that means?”

“I know it’s not good for me,” Jaejoong’s voice comes out in a whisper. “I’ve heard the other elves discussing it, though no one seems to want to address it to me directly.”

“That’s because they don’t know, child. Everything is speculation as far as they’re concerned for nothing like this has ever happened before.”

“Did I break heaven’s rules?”

The man suddenly laughs, a great big hearty laugh that rolls down the corridors, echoing through every room in the immense complex that houses Jaejoong and his fellow elves.

Everyone stops what they’re doing, frozen by the laughter, the beauty of which mesmerizes them into stillness.

Everything touched by that laughter, pauses to listen.

Even the laughing brook outside the complex in the beautiful gardens of their world stops gurgling, in awe of that sound of mirth.

The only ones not affected are Joy and Jaejoong in the presence of the man, for in a juxtaposition, his presence in the room protects them from his effects.

“You didn’t break heaven, child, but you have definitely stumped almost everyone within it. As for its rules, let’s just say you were made to break rules.”

Jaejoong opens his mouth to speak further, but is cut off by a soft whisper in the windless room.

_”Jaejoongie…”_

The elf crumples over immediately, dropping to his knees, bending over in pain as the whisper lingers within his room. 

Joy’s eyes fill with tears as she sends a hapless look towards the man in the room whose countenance is now serious. “Can you see now? He should not have remembered.”

The man nods curtly, eyes moving to the broken form of the elf curled on the ground.

_”Jaejoongie…”_

The whisper grows louder, echoing in the bedroom, and an anguished sound is ripped from Jaejoong’s throat as his will seeks to find his human, but his body is bound by the rules that govern it. He is literally being ripped in half from within.

_”Jaejoongie…”_

Jaejoong is choking on his pain, his eyes filling with tears as they spill over and streak a hot path down his cheeks.

The man braces himself, knowing what is coming. 

Never has this happened.

Never in a million lifetimes.

And it had to happen on his watch.

He hopes Jaejoong is willing to reap what he has sown.

_”Jaejoongie, please… I love you…”_

—

Yunho squeezes his eyes shut, the pain in his chest is intense.

For a month, he has gone about his day, wondering why he feels different.

Why he feels heavier.

Why it feels as if a dark cloud has settled over his head.

For a month he has stared listlessly at the walls of his room.

A whole month of barely eating, the slightly squishy young teenager has practically overnight, not just shot up in height, but also dropped some excess weight.

One month of changes wreaking havoc to his body, with no focal point.

Nothing to ground him.

For almost a decade he’s always had something.

And now that something is gone, and for the life of him, he cannot quite remember what it is that he’s lost.

The memories are like whispers in a strong breeze and try as he might, they always float that little bit out of his reach. 

His sister comes in then with a bowl of chicken soup.

“Oppa, umma says you need to eat. You’re a growing boy and she doesn’t want you to become skinny.”

“I don’t care, Jihye.” Yunho turns over, his back to his sister as he curls into himself, stifling the sounds of pain as his chest feels like it has a fist around his heart squeezing the life out of him. The pain is also deep in his belly, as if someone is trying to reach within him and rip him into two.

Not that it matters, for he hasn’t felt whole in a month.

“Oppa…” the almond eyed beauty stares at her brother. She can see he is in pain. She can see the light leaving him about a month or so ago. She doesn’t know what or why, but she wants to fix it. She loves her brother more than he knows and his pain is also her pain though she cannot feel it. She is a kind young girl, growing up being doted on by both parents and her brother, and she is more sensitive than most children her age.

She knows something happened about a month ago, and she can barely recognize her brother now. 

Jihye puts her hand into her pocket, drawing out something from a holiday past. 

A small candy cane she’d found in her school bag.

It is a little dusty, and grimy, but the plastic wrapping is intact. 

She wipes it on her dress, cleaning it as best she can before she steps forward, knees against the side of her brother’s bed as she gazes at his back.

“I know you love Christmas,” she whispers. “I hope this will make you think of Christmas, if even just for a little while,” she drops the candy down his front, before turning and fleeing his bedroom before he has a mind to scold her.

Not that he ever does, but she doesn’t want it to start now in any case. Her brother’s moods have been unpredictable for weeks, and their parents let it pass, knowing he is going through puberty.

Yunho feels the slide of plastic against his skin, and the telltale crinkling sound.

He feels it fall against his chest, the pain easing for a brief moment as he reaches blindly to grasp at the item.

A soft sound of surprise leaves his lips when his fingers curl around the familiar shape of a small candy cane.

The smile that breaks across his face is his first genuine smile in weeks. His sister knows him too well. Christmas is indeed his favorite holiday, and this is his favorite part of the holiday.

Why?

He cannot explain.

How many teenagers look forward to candy canes on Christmas?

Even more so than any gifts.

Not many, save for this teenager at least.

His fingers fumble as he tries to strip the plastic wrapping quickly, his mouth dry and his throat parched. He can feel his heart pounding in anticipation of that first taste, and his saliva glands explode in preparation just as he manages to free the sticky treat from its confines.

The first taste of the sweet, peppermint candy is heaven on his tongue.

Just one second of heaven.

A second of blissful unawareness, a teenager simply happy at being given a sweet treat.

He licks his lips.

Yunho’s entire body stiffens instantly, awareness flooding through him as his mind opens up, freeing the locked memories now triggered by the candy.

He sweeps his tongue across his lush bottom lip.

The sound of breathless giggles fill his ears, laughter at his expense after he’d gotten into trouble for “borrowing” a jar of cookies from Joy.

“Jaejoongie…”

His hand trembles as he raises it to his mouth, rubbing the hooked end of the candy cane across his mouth, eyes staring at the wall opposite, unseeing.

He runs the tip of his tongue along his top lip lightly, tasting the sweet essence left by his candy cane.

He can practically see the pout on the other boy’s face, unhappy at being bested at a game he’d invented. What the game is, is anyone’s guess, but the important thing is that Yunho won and the other boy didn’t.

_”You cheated!”_

_“No, I didn’t! I never cheat!”_

_“But I’m an elf! How can you beat me?”_

_Yunho darts quickly forward, pressing up against the smaller boy who lets out a sharp gasp at the contact but he doesn’t move away. He pushes a lock of jet black hair behind his ears, peering at them._

_“Still not pointy, Jaejoongie.”_

_“I’m still growing into them!” The shorter male exclaims huffily pushing his companion away, making Yunho laugh._

_“I won! More kisses for me. Come on, and pay up!”_

_The elf begrudgingly digs into his pocket to unearth what’s left of the very hard to find Pumpkin Spice Hershey’s Kisses._

_Yes, even in his world they’re impossible to get in the middle of April._

“Jaejoongie…”

Yunho’s voice is hushed, his eyes clenched shut as the memories assault him.

How could he have forgotten?

How long has it been?

Where is his Jaejoongie?

“Jaejoongie…”

Something isn’t right. He can feel it. He’s changed, and therefore something has changed. The pang in his heart grows worse as he chews on his own bottom lip, sucking on it as he clenches his eyes shut, his hand fisting the small candy cane so hard it snaps in half.

“Jaejoongie, please… I love you…”

—

Yunho hears the sobbing, and he thinks his ears are playing tricks on him. 

He opens his eyes and is faced with a wall.

Identical to the wall of his bedroom.

Yet not.

He whirls around instantly, barely registering the other two beings in the room as he sees his elf curled up on the floor sobbing his beautiful eyes out.

Yunho moves in a flurry of limbs still a little too long for him to be able to contend with properly, but he makes it work as he scoops up the crying boy off the floor, mouth pressed against a damp cheek as he whispers his apologies.

“Jaejoongie…Jaejoongie I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I forgot you, but I’m here now. I’m here now. Please don’t cry, love. I love you so much, please don’t cry.”

Their mouths meet for the first time as adults.

Peppermint kisses sprinkled liberally with a tiny hint of salt from Jaejoong’s tears.

Neither teenager cares, Jaejoong wrapping his arms tightly around Yunho’s neck and he shyly licks at the younger boy’s mouth which parts instantly, their tongues touching gingerly, before they both deepen the kiss instinctively.

Joy and the man exchange glances as the teenaged boys topple back into Jaejoong’s bed, no more flailing limbs.

Instead, both boys are wrapped up against each other, hands stroking and caressing each other’s faces, mouths still fused together.

“You knew this would happen.” Joy remarks softly as she snaps a thin veil between the boys and herself and the man to keep them separate within the room. They can still see the two boys, but neither side can hear the other.

It isn’t a question but a statement, for she knows better.

“There was a possibility. Humans are frail creatures, but the strength in that one is remarkable. He would make a glorious angel.”

“Not an elf?”

“His love is only meant for one. He cannot be shared. Not in a way needed for an elf to share their love.”

“Jaejoong truly was unique then? I always wondered why I was told to allow him to choose his human.”

“They both are. We were testing a new theory when Jaejoong came into being.”

“What theory?”

“The red string of fate.”

“What—“ but Joy is cut off for she suddenly catches sight of it.

A red string that seems to flicker with the movements of the teenagers. Jaejoong is on top of Yunho, cupping the younger boy’s face between his hands as he peppers the larger boy with kisses all over his face. The words of love cannot be heard by her, but she can imagine what they sound like, for Jaejoong is practically incandescent once again.

The string is linked from Jaejoong’s pinky finger to Yunho’s.

And no matter how they move, the string never ever gets tangled up.

Not even when Yunho flips them over with a laugh, nuzzling and kissing Jaejoong’s still-not-very-pointy ears and presumably teasing him about them as he is wont to do.

Both Joy and the strange man smile at the boys as they wind down, content to exchange Eskimo kisses as they talk quietly. The happiness emanating from the two is palpable despite the barrier and even the distance. 

“They were created for each other.” Joy finally speaks, not taking her eyes off the boys. Jaejoong’s glow is moving to Yunho, and even though she knows it’s technically impossible, her eyes are not deceiving her. 

Yunho too is glowing.

“That’s the premise, yes. But it has yet to be tested.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what it means, my child. Jaejoong found him, but that’s not a test enough.”

Joy closes her eyes, sighing softly as she sends a small prayer out for the two boys quietly nuzzling each other now. 

“Do they know?”

“About the red string of destiny? No.”

“Are you going to tell them?”

The man’s smile is soft. “What? And ruin the surprise?”

“Begging your pardon, but I don’t think you should toy with them. Why can’t they just be together here?” Joy asks hopefully, though she knows deep down it’s a futile hope. No human can be made an elf or an angel without death, and she has a feeling Jaejoong will have something to say about that.

“You’re fond of Jaejoong aren’t you?” the man asks, knowing her question is largely rhetorical.

“And Yunho,” Joy adds, turning once again to the teenagers wrapped up in each other on the bed. “That boy’s soul is so pure,” her voice is laced with sadness despite her meaning behind her words. He is too good for the world, and she knows that Jaejoong knows this. 

“Do you think he would like to be an angel?”

“And leave Jaejoong? Never.”

The two adults watch in silence, Joy keeping her thoughts, though she knows the man can filter them from her mind if he wishes. But he’s good at allowing his angels and even his elves to a certain extent, a measure of privacy, so she knows he will not intrude.

Yunho is here as an adult, he will always remember Jaejoong unless he chooses to forget.

She has no idea what’s in store for the two young teenagers.

She cannot even begin to imagine.

But that little red string joining the two boys gives her hope.

“What now?” she finally asks.

“Now, they have a choice.”

The man snaps his finger and the barrier Joy had erected earlier drops with a hushed whoosh.

Both Yunho and Jaejoong turn their heads to the adults. 

Yunho’s eyes are alight with a soft fire, and he slowly moves off the smaller boy and sitting up, putting himself bodily between Jaejoong and the other two. 

Jaejoong seems to accept this, even though he is the elf and far more capable of protecting either of them. He curls himself behind the younger but bigger boy, wrapping his legs around his waist with only his luminous doe eyes glowing behind his shoulder as he stares curiously at Joy. Nothing else from nose down of the elf’s body can be seen of Jaejoong, so completely does he fit behind Yunho.

The man opens his mouth, but he is cut off by a quiet voice, slightly muffled behind the fabric of Yunho’s teeshirt.

“I don’t want to be an angel.”

Yunho tries to move, but Jaejoong’s arms are locked tight around him.

Joy can see the elf’s lips caressing the bare skin of the nape of the younger boy’s neck, and she can hear him whisper soothing words of love.

Words that bring a tear to her eyes for she knows what he is doing.

There isn’t any other way, especially if Jaejoong doesn’t want to be an angel, and Yunho will always have the memory of their realm.

“Jaejoong…” Yunho’s voice is quiet. He finally appears to see who is before him, and locked in position, he is unable to prostrate, conveying with his eyes his intention. The only movement he is able to make is with his hands, to caress Jaejoong’s legs that are locked tight around him.

The protective stance is but an illusion, for Jaejoong has him where he needs him to be.

“Are you certain, child?”

“No. No, Jaejoongie has to be an angel.”

“He’s not speaking to you, love. I’m your elf.”

“And I’m…i’m yours.”

Jaejoong smiles, the brilliance of it causes him to shine brightly once again. The white hot light of his essence is once again shared with Yunho, bathing them both in a brilliant light that has Joy closing her eyes from the pain of what she knows has to come to pass.

The man takes a step back, surprised at the sheer light force coming from the young elf, for Jaejoong is the youngest of his kind.

None have been born since, for no more have been needed since this elf paired with his human.

When the light finally dims, both adults are surprised to find the boys locked in an embrace. 

Jaejoong astride Yunho’s lap, wrapped around him as always but he has the young teenager’s face in his hands, kissing away the tears that are slowly streaking down his cheeks. 

“I don’t want you to go, please…”

“I can’t leave you. I promised I’d be yours forever. Only yours.”

“And if you’re an angel, you have to leave me?”

“If I’m an angel, I will always be with you, but I can never be _with_ you,” Jaejoong whispers, his own tears finally losing the battle once again as one slips out, sliding down his cheek. He presses a peppermint filled kiss against Yunho’s mouth, making the boy whimper in pain at the taste. “I’m not strong enough to let you go.”

“I don’t want you to let me go,” Yunho breathes, biting his lower lip and tasting Jaejoong.

_“This is why they should’ve only met at Christmas,”_ the man sends his thought to Joy, a mild note of chastisement behind his comment.

_”You were never around and you’ve never seen them. I tried everything. Not even the strongest magic could make Yunho forget Jaejoong.”_

The man stares as Yunho licks his mouth, watching as the boy leans forward to peck Jaejoong lightly on the mouth, before leaning back and licking at his lips once again.

He shakes his head, realizing how Yunho has managed to remember his elf when no other child has ever managed to do so. Jaejoong is one determined elf, that much he can ascertain. A whole decade of this and his Joy none the wiser. 

_”Jaejoong gave him a powerful memory trigger. Watch the way he licks his mouth whenever Jaejoong kisses him. They kissed far more than normal children, didn’t they?”_

_“I never thought anything of it for Jaejoong was always an affectionate child. It was the peppermint kisses? I never even considered it because it’s so much a part of him.”_

“Give me one last hug.”

“No.”

“Yunnie…”

“I can’t let you do this, Jaejoongie.”

Jaejoong leans back, mouth twisted in amusement despite the pain. “Let me, Yunnie-ah?” he reaches up to cup the younger boy’s cheek, brushing away at his tears with his thumb. “You know I don’t need your permission.”

“Tell me what you’re giving up to be with me.”

“Nothing. I’m not giving up anything, but I’m gaining so much.”

“You can’t know that.”

Jaejoong’s hand drops from Yunho’s cheek, caressing his jaw and neck slowly as he slips his hand, placing his palm against his rapidly beating heart.

“I know your heart. Your heart is worth so much. I would rather spend a brief lifetime with you, than an eternity without you.”

_”Is this what that red string is? Making them need each other to the point where logic makes no sense? He’s giving up heaven.”_

_“Is love ever logical? Is magic logical, Joy? Come now, child, what has become of you?”_

_“Is this your doing? Have you made them this way?”_

_“You know how much I value choice. That red string is but a connection. Everything else is up to them. I have done nothing to amplify or diminish their emotions. What you see is something manifested from when Yunho was only three. There is a decade of love in there already, for you know our Jaejoong never does anything by halves.”_

_“He loved Yunho even before the boy was born, did you know? I remember him waiting eagerly, wanting to watch him come into this world, but I had to convince him to wait till the baby was at least in his crib. Is that the red string?”_

_“You’re focusing too much on that red string, child.”_

_“Answer me, please.”_

_“Jaejoong was created to be pair to Yunho, yes. But it does not force emotions.”_

_“But he knew.”_

_“Our Jaejoong feels more than anyone else. Perhaps I should have made him be elf to some children to give him some perspective.”_

Joy shakes her head, admitting defeat. Nothing on any world could have shaken Jaejoong from Yunho.

“Heaven, Jaejoong. You’re giving up heaven…”

“Look in my eyes.”

Yunho looks, though his gaze is filmy from the tears. He feels the soft brush of Jaejoong’s lips against his, before the elf pulls away slightly, brushing away at his tears.

“Look at my eyes.”

“I’m looking.”

“Can you see heaven?”

Yunho’s eyes are fixed on the luminous dark pools that are Jaejoong’s eyes. They are filled with tears, but he knows he will see what he’s always seen in Jaejoong’s eyes.

He felt it when he was three, and he recognizes it fully for what it is now at thirteen. There is no such thing as “too young” for him, for he’s been exposed to a world where miracles happen on a daily basis for practically a decade.

“Yes.”

“I’m your paradise.”

“And you are mine.” 

The man sighs inwardly as he watches the beautiful young elf trying to convince his human to allow him to give up eternity for him. He is sure the human cannot fathom the magnitude of what Jaejoong is doing.

In fact, he doubts Jaejoong himself understands fully the consequence of his choice.

To give up Heaven, means to give up everything.

Jaejoong will not have any memory whatsoever of his time as an elf.

It will be as if he never was one.

And on the back side of that…

…he will not remember Yunho.

It will take a miracle, and he cannot and will not interfere.

“They will need a miracle.” Joy whispers softly, forgetting herself for a moment and not speaking within the confines of her mind like she did earlier. 

Both boys turn towards her, for they both heard her.

Jaejoong’s smile is jaunty, albeit watery, his tone a little sassy yet quiet. “I’m a miracle.”

Yunho makes a sound deep in his throat, drawing Jaejoong’s attention back to him.

“Give me one last kiss.”

~~~  
Just think of all the moments that we spent  
I just can’t let you go, for me you were meant  
And I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I know  
That in the game of lovin’, you reap what you sow  
~~~

Yunho opens his eyes, and once again he is faced with a wall.

The right wall this time.

Or the wrong one, depending on how you look at it.

He turns, bolting upright as he remembers everything.

Yunho brings his fingers to his mouth, still sticky with their last kiss.

He licks his mouth.

Peppermint.

Overlayed by a salty tang.

The teenager brings his knees up, wrapping his arms around his legs, he bends his forehead to touch his kneecaps as the first tear falls.

One tear.

Followed by countless others.

He cries for a long time.

And even that long time feels too short, for it isn’t forever.

Forever is with his Jaejoongie and he needs to find him.

That was the deal.

Yunho can remember everything of Jaejoong, but Jaejoong will have absolutely no memory of him.

The only thing that Jaejoong made the man and Joy promise them, is that he will always be his, that no matter what happens, Jaejoong on earth will only be Yunho’s somehow, forever and always.

The man had warned them that Jaejoong’s personality will follow him, and that in all likelihood, Yunho may never find Jaejoong till the end of their lives, but Jaejoong has faith.

_”I always have faith. I was borne from faith and I will die by it. Yunho will find me.”_

Such a weight upon the thirteen year old’s slim shoulders that have yet to fill out into manhood despite being an “adult”.

He remembers Joy’s parting words to him.

_”You will find him within the next two years. I can promise you this much and it is the least I can do. I cannot interfere beyond this. It will be a difficult road, but I promise to watch out for both of you. Be well, little Yunnie. Look after our Jaejoongie for god knows he can get into mischief by just standing still.”_

The teenager fists the last of his tears away, the taste of peppermint on his lips is but a distant memory now.

Jaejoong has given up eternity for him.

He will spend the rest of his life making sure he is worth it.

—

Two beings watch the young teenager square his shoulders, determination lining his every movement.

“Tell me of their path.”

“I can only share so much, Joy. Nothing is certain. Their path is fraught with choices. At every turn, they have a choice to make. Jaejoong may not have his memories, but you saw the way he shared his light with Yunho. There is a little bit of both of them in each other. He will not know who he is, but he will not see him as foe.”

“And I guess I should be happy with that much, huh?” Joy sniffs, wiping away a tear as she watches Yunho trace out Jaejoong’s name on the foggy mirror in his bathroom after washing his face. “I don’t know who to feel more sorry for. Jaejoong or Yunho.”

“They both have their difficulties.”

“But to give up heaven…”

The man smiles. “Heaven is an idea, Joy. Jaejoong found his heaven in that strong young man right there. Who are we to begrudge him his choice of heaven?”

“But his choice means pain.”

“Not all pain is bad, Joy. You’ve been sheltered for too long.”

“It hurts…” she trails off, gazing down at Yunho, reaching out to him as she sees another tear slip from his eyes. But she cannot touch him, and she takes her hand back, placing it against her chest. “I hurt…it hurts to see him like this.”

“Can you see his string?”

Joy peers closer, staring at Yunho’s pinky, and true enough, that red string of destiny is still attached to him.

“If I follow it, will I find Jaejoong?”

“You know you will.”

Her eyes trace the supernatural string, following its rather straight path as the crow flies, a little startled when she reaches its end.

“He isn’t far.”

“No, he isn’t.”

—

_ 2001 _

Yunho and his friends chance upon the group towards the end of the fight, attracted by the raucous noise and unafraid as only teenagers with martial arts skills can be, they race in to play hero. 

There are clear victors, and the older boys of his group step between the two sets of boys to make sure the fight is at a complete end. These are his hapkido friends, and they are recognized by the group slinking away at least, so any lingering thoughts of retaliation die a swift death as they disappear into the shadows.

“Is everyone alright?” the oldest member of Yunho’s group asks.

“What’s it to you? We’d already won the fight, you lot didn’t need to play policemen.”

Yunho stills.

_23 months, one week and three days. Cutting it very close, Joy._

“Jaejoong,” he whispers under his breath, half afraid to turn to find it isn’t so. He’s had so many false alarms, his ears, eyes and even nose trying to find even the slightest memory of the boy in anyone he meets. He hasn’t eaten a single candy cane since, for knowing that it will not bring him his miracle is a pain he would rather not face. 

“How do you know my name?”

Yunho closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as his arm is tugged from behind. He pivots slowly on his heel, eyes opening as he turns to meet a familiar pair of doe eyes, darkened by heightened emotion, confusion warring within them as their eyes connect.

“Do I know you?”

—

_ 2006 _

“Who did this to my Yunho? Who? Who? How dare that bitch. I’m going to kill her.”

The managers watch helplessly as Jaejoong kicks a hole in the door as he walks out. They don’t even think of stopping him, for even they are in shock. 

Of all the ones to get an anti-fan, it is Yunho, leader of TVXQ and the most kind hearted young man they have ever known. The raging virago before them is expected, for the two oldest members are very close. Far closer to each other than to any of their dongsaengs, and this is even without them sharing a room.

“Hyung, please. Let’s just go to the hospital.”

“I’m going to fucking kill her, Yoochunnie.”

“Hyung won’t want you to kill her,” Changmin whispers, tears and pain clogging his throat as he follows his hyung out the door to get into their van.

Jaejoong visibly deflates at the maknae’s words as he stares out into the black night. He looks up at the sky, staring till he finds what he is looking for.

A lone twinkle up in the heaven’s above. 

A tear slips out as he stares hard at it. 

“My Yunho is too good for this world…too good… Give his pain to me and I will bear it willingly. I don’t care how you do it. I wish to take his pain.”

Joy feels the presence next to her as she reaches out a hand, her touch reaching her former young ward, caressing his cheek. She can see that he feels it as he closes his eyes, head tilted into her touch, even though he doesn’t realize it. His tears are like a hot brand against her fingers. 

“He’s right.”

“Don’t take him, please.”

“Yunho is too good for that world. He was never meant to stay long.”

“Please,” Joy sinks to her knees, head bent, tears flowing down her cheeks. “Please don’t take him. They’ve barely had any time with each other…please I beg you.”

“Would you rather see them in pain later on? Together. At least this pain will be quick. Jaejoong is far stronger than he looks, and he too is good to remain long too, even though I never thought I’d ever hear my elf threaten anyone with death.”

“Some pain is good, right? You told me that. You told me not all pain is bad.”

“That is true.”

“You also told me they have choices. Jaejoong made his choice. He made a wish on a star, and I heard him. Please, don’t take Yunho from him now.”

“They have to be separated at some point, Joy. The world is not ready for them.”

Joy lifts her head, gazing down at the tormented beauty with his face still tilted towards the heavens. His eyes are closed now, and it is as if time has frozen. 

Nothing moves around him.

Nothing breathes.

She tilts her head further back to gaze up at the man watching her carefully.

“Jaejoong wants to take Yunho’s pain as his own.”

“It will manifest differently for Jaejoong.”

“But his pain will hurt Yunho too.”

“Yes,” the man nods. “That cannot be helped. Jaejoong has to reap what he has sown. Every choice has a consequence.”

“Jaejoong wasn’t making an informed choice though. All those years ago when he chose to follow Yunho down to earth, you didn’t tell him that it would be this difficult.”

The man crooks a brow at the angel’s increasingly frustrated tone. “And spoil the surprise?”

Joy turns back down to stare at the frozen earth beneath her.

“Don’t take Yunho from him, please…”

“A quick yet intense pain now compared to a prolonged pain later on, Joy. Are you making the choice for them?”

“Listen…” she whispers, incredulous as Jaejoong’s eyes open on the frozen earth far below them.

The young Rising God of the East has his eyes still fixated on the glowing star as he breathes the words he means from the bottom of his heart and the depth of his soul.

“I wish to die in his place.”

—

_ 2008 _

“Angel.”

Jaejoong smiles at the murmur against his ear before he sits back up, Yunho seated fully within him as he starts to move slowly, languidly, in no hurry whatsoever. It is early morning, the sun still not yet making it’s grand entrance into the world. It’s his favorite time of the day. No one awake but him and Yunho.

He rocks over the younger man, a wisp of a smirk playing about his lips as he gazes down at Yunho staring up at him with love in his eyes. 

“I’m no angel…”

“You watch over them too closely.”

Joy flushes as the man steps up next to her, amusement clear in his features and his tone.

“I’m not watching _that_.”

“What are you looking at then?”

“Jaejoongie is glowing again.”

The man turns to look, and his angel is right, even though he knew what he’d see before he even turns. There is a light from within the ethereal young man. Both men are worshipped as gods on earth, and they have a guardian angel watching practically their every move, but he knows what’s coming.

“Yunho shouldn’t have called him angel.”

“Can you blame him? Even if he doesn’t remember, anyone looking at our Jaejoong will think he is one. He is so beautiful…”

“He is glowing, Joy. The humans will notice.”

Joy turns her head sharply, eyes searching the other man’s impassive features. Something in his countenance makes her gasp, shaking her head as her eyes fill. “No. No, no, no. You cannot do this to them. Not now.”

The man simply shakes his head. “You are too attached, child. Do you want me to bring you back up to the upper realm where you will no longer have sight of them?”

She sinks immediately to her knees, head bowed in prostration, she shakes her head. “Please, no.”

He places a hand on the top of her head, rubbing her golden hair gently as he casts his eyes downward towards the glowing couple in a tiny bedroom. 

“They are both glowing, Joy. It is not normal for humans to glow. It has to be snuffed out for now till they learn.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Jaejoong made a choice two years ago. The time for me to collect is coming.”

“Are you going to grant his wish to die?”

“He will die…but not physically.”

_ 2010 _

Yunho stares at himself in the mirror. He barely recognizes himself. He is unshaven, his eyes are bloodshot, and his features are so gaunt he looks like he’s aged a decade.

And even as he stares, a mist seems to gather in the mirror.

Any other normal human will grow alarmed, and perhaps start to freak out.

But Yunho isn’t normal.

Practically his entire childhood was spent in an abnormal realm, and he remembers every moment.

And most importantly, he remembers his beautiful laughing companion.

A companion no longer with him now.

Golden hair fills the mirror, and he sighs as a memory turns into a face he remembers.

A beautiful girl who hasn’t aged a single bit despite the passing of time.

Over two decades to be precise. 

“I failed him.”

Joy shakes her head, holding in her tears at the sight of the broken young man. “You didn’t, Yunho.”

“Why are you here? After all this time, why only appear now? Where were you six months ago when I still had a hope of keeping him with me?”

“He is always with you.”

The young man makes a rude sound, not caring that he’s speaking with an angel. His own angel is lost to him, and nothing else matters.

“Do you see him now? Do you see him in that bath over there where he used to sit, surrounded by bubbles as I went about my nightly ablution? Do you hear him cautioning me to be careful as I shave? Do you hear his laughter as I try to hide from his stupid phone constantly taking photos of me? Do you, Joy?”

“Jung Yunho.” Joy’s voice takes on a hint of steel, silencing the young man before he continues on his rant. “Could you see Jaejoong as a child? When you were in school, did you see him?”

“No,” comes the sullen reply. Yunho is so done with everything right now. He’s thisclose to punching the mirror and shattering Joy within it. He is hungover and just so fucking done with everything. Jaejoong gave up heaven for him, and all Yunho is apparently capable of is giving him hell in return. He is feeling both sorry for himself, and angry at his failure, and the combination is not a good one in the broken young man.

“And yet he was always with you. You don’t have to see him for him to be with you. You’ve been spoiled for so long, Jung Yunho. You know what he is, you know who he is, and now you need to know why it has come to this. He has no idea who he used to be, but you know. You know what he gave up for you, and you’re willing to give up on him now?”

“No.” Yunho bites out. “I am not giving up on him. He gave up on me.”

“Oh, really?”

“He wanted more than what we had. He wasn’t happy, and he wanted more.”

“All he’s ever wanted, was you.”

Yunho shakes his head. “He’s not the Jaejoongie from before. He’s changed.”

“Yes, he has.”

Yunho’s eyes lift to look at the glittering sapphire eyes of the angel before him. She is furious, and he knows he deserves it, but at the moment, he can barely see past his own nose and his own heartache to examine any type of bigger picture that she probably wants him to see.

“He’s not my Jaejoongie.”

Joy reaches out, cupping Yunho’s jaw with her small hand, ignoring the startled expression in the young man’s face at the contact.

“He has always been yours. He will only ever be yours. This pain you’re feeling? It’s his pain.”

She snaps her finger, and a film covers Yunho’s eyes, and he jerks, trying to move away from her hand, but she holds him in place.

“Look.”

Yunho bites his lip, wanting to shut his eyes, but he cannot, as he stares as Jaejoong lying in an unfamiliar bed, curled up within himself, his body shaking so hard as harsh sobs wrack his frame. 

“Listen.”

Yunho can hear a buzzing in his ear, and he tries to focus. Once he does, he hears it.

_”I wish…I wish…I wish to die.”_

“No!” Yunho wrenches himself from the angel’s grasp. “No. No, Jaejoong cannot die.”

“He’s not wishing on a star, so it will not be granted.”

Yunho’s body sags in relief, but the angel’s next clipped words makes him tense again.

“But he did wish on a star four years ago. He wished to die in your place.”

“Four years ago…” Yunho’s eyes widen. “The poison…I was meant to die?”

“Yes.”

“Oh god,” Yunho’s legs give out, crashing to the bathroom floor, he hunches over, the intensity of Jaejoong’s sacrifice even as a human, shakes him to the very core. “I don’t deserve him,” he whispers. “He deserves better than me.”

“He deserves more from you, but he cannot do better than you. An angel with an angel. Jaejoong cannot do better than that,” Joy’s mouth tugs into a ghost of a smile as she feels the self-pity slowly leaving Yunho. The man was too blinded by his own pain.

“Take back his wish, and take me instead.”

Joy shakes her head. “This is his death.”

Yunho’s head jerks up, “What do you mean?”

“This pain is his death. Jaejoong is dying right now. The pain he feels is so intense, death would be bliss. My question to you is, what are you going to do about it? He took your pain from you four years ago, and he is suffering for it now. What are you going to do about it?”

“Give it to me,” Yunho beseeches, reaching a hand towards the angel in his mirror. “Give me his pain.”

She shakes her head. “I can’t give you his pain, because his pain is your pain. You feel the separation like he does, but you have more awareness than he does. He doesn’t know who he is, but you know how far back you two go. Why do you think you’re more angry than pained? You think you’ve failed him, while he thinks he’s lost you forever.”

“He hasn’t. He’s never lost me. He’s always had me,” Yunho whispers as he raises slowly, regaining his feet as he stands.

“Now you’re understanding,” Joy’s smile is a little wider this time. “Now what are you going to do about it?”

“It’s difficult…” Yunho’s mind immediately turns to their legal situation.

“Difficult, but not impossible. Jaejoong found a way to remind you of him always when you were a child. I have faith that you will find a way to tell him you are still his.”

“Peppermint kisses,” Yunho smiles as he licks his dry lips. “That’s how he did it, didn’t he?”

Joy’s smile is finally in full, lending a glow to the bathroom. “Sneaky angel, our Jaejoongie is.”

“Will he ever remember?”

“He’s not meant to,” Joy replies, but her gaze is thoughtful. “But you were never meant to remember him either once you hit puberty. Miracles happen around him.”

“He is my miracle.”

—

_ 2013 _

“I wrote a song for you, when we were apart.”

Yunho nuzzles up the side of the head of the blond sitting across his lap. He hears the words, but he’s more interested in the soft, fragrant skin. He hasn’t seen Joy since that fateful day, but he can feel her presence.

Joy.

She was definitely named right. 

“Angel…” 

Jaejoong giggles, Yunho’s unshaved chin is tickling his sensitive skin. “I’m no angel.”

“You’re my angel even though your ears are not quite pointy yet.”

“I’m still growing into them,” Jaejoong retorts huffily.

Yunho freezes. 

“What did you say?” 

“What?” Jaejoong asks, staring at Hiro running around the living room chasing some invisible thing only he can see. He is warm, sated, and very happy draped over the only man he’s ever loved. They still cannot be seen in public together, well, not without it probably making international headline news, but behind the scenes is another matter altogether. They’ve been together again for the better part of three years, with no one the wiser. 

Many people close to them suspected of course, and their dongsaengs knew from the beginning, but as of right now, those who know for a fact can be counted on his fingers.

Jaejoong mentally plays gwiyomi in his head, rolling his eyes and laughing when he is stumped at 3+3 again.

“You said you’re growing into them…”

Jaejoong wiggles in Yunho’s lap. “I can grow you too. I’m good at growing things,” he leers playfully, kissing Yunho on the mouth.

“Your ears.”

“What about my ears?”

“They’re not pointy enough.”

“I’m an angel, not an elf, Yunho,” Jaejoong rolls his eyes as he presses another kiss to frozen lips. He leans back, staring at the bemused man curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you remember?”

“Remember what?”

The hope in Yunho’s heart dies as he reads genuine bewilderment in Jaejoong’s eyes. He cannot tell the man anything, for that was one of the rules. 

“Remember how much I love you,” he kisses the beautiful man in his arms. 

“Do I need to remember?” Jaejoong pulls back, his voice quiet, eyes searching Yunho’s. “I don’t want to remember. I want to know it, feel it, see it, every day for eternity. Yunho, you’re not going anywhere, are you?”

It hurts the leader of TVXQ at how insecure Jaejoong had become since their parting of almost a year in 2010/2011. The man destined to be an angel, so painfully insecure he needs to have constant reaffirmation that he is loved. That he is worthy of being loved. Jaejoong did die in 2010, at least a part of him did. He lost something and Yunho will do anything to help him get it back. 

“I’m not going anywhere, love. Now tell me about this song you wrote for me.”

“You’re distracting me.”

“If I was distracting you, you’d be on your back with your ankles hooked on my shoulders.”

Jaejoong laughs, the broken sound is music to Yunho’s ears. “You are such a wretch. Promise you’ll distract me later?”

“Depends on how good your song is.”

Yunho laughs as he is smacked playfully by Jaejoong who leans over to grab the remote control for the stereo. “Don’t get mad at me, ok? I tend to write with you in mind and a lot of the songs are about you.”

“Born free, one kiss…yes, I know Jaejoongie.”

“This one is a little different. I wrote it because I wanted so much to believe it. I had to believe it. I had to believe that one day, I’d be able to show you once again.”

Jaejoong is unaware of the tear that spills from the corner of his eye, caught by Yunho’s thumb, the younger man slips it into his mouth to taste the salty essence of his angel’s tears.

But he is in for a surprise.

Peppermint kisses.

He schools his features to try and hide the shock from Jaejoong, but he doesn’t need to as the older man hits play before scooting down, and tucking his head under his chin.

_Give me one last hug  
Give me one last kiss_

Yunho is really glad Jaejoong cannot see his face right now. His mouth is full of sweet peppermint candy from the tear drop he sucked from his thumb. 

_I don’t want you to go…  
Please_

He licks his mouth, his heart starting to beat erratically. Jaejoong says he doesn’t remember, but…

His memory goes back to when he was thirteen.

Watched over by the two adults as they said their goodbyes, his heart so heavy yet light at Jaejoong’s choice to forsake eternity for him.

_Look at my eyes_  
Look at my eyes  
You can see heaven 

The urge to hit the pause button and shake Jaejoong, demanding, asking, wanting, needing to know if he remembers is stifling him. His skin is crawling, the hair at the back of his neck tingling with awareness. He can feel the room suffused with love. The glow is tinged red around the edges, and Yunho looks around surreptitiously.

_I’m miracle_  
I’m miracle  
I’ll make everything come true 

He sees it then. 

A simple star on the mantelpiece where Jaejoong collects random knick knacks. 

A star glowing red, pulsating with each beat of his heart and Jaejoong’s.

Their hearts beat in tandem, and he feels the beating pulsing through the room.

_Let me show you what you’re missin’_  
Let me show you what you’re missin’  
I’m your…I’m your…  
Paradise 

Yunho drops his chin, coaxing Jaejoong from the crook of his neck, kissing him softly.

Jaejoong licks at the peppermint tainted lips of his lover, eyes closed, as his mind drifts.

“Have you ever wished on a star?”

“Yes,” Yunho’s voice is hoarse, unable to, refusing to believe it.

Jaejoong’s eyes pop open, smiling as he licks his mouth, leaning forward to kiss Yunho again. A simple peck just to taste, and still the candy sweet taste explodes on his tastebuds, widening his smile. 

“I love peppermint kisses.”

“I know.” Yunho’s throat is suddenly dry. “If you could wish on a star right now, what would you wish for?”

Jaejoong nuzzles the younger man’s cheek before he turns, twisting in his lap he points to his mantelpiece with the glowing red star.

Yunho holds his breath, for there is nothing natural about the way the star is glowing, and yet, Jaejoong doesn’t seem surprised to see it.

“I already have my wish though.”

“Just say it. I’m curious.” Yunho coaxes carefully, as doe eyes turn on him, a light within them that he recognizes.

“I wish to have someone that is just for me, always and forever mine.”

~~~  
I’m wishin’ on a star  
To follow where you are  
I’m wishin’ on a dream  
To follow what it means…  
~~~


End file.
